My Secret Shame

I've been with my Little for over five years now. We share a deep connection that goes beyond words, but there's one thing I've never told her about. Last month, while we were at home alone and she was napping, something inside me snapped. I started looking through old photo albums from before we met, reliving memories of my younger self. The photos brought back intense feelings of youth and innocence, feelings I desperately wanted to reclaim. In a moment of weakness, I took some of those pictures and created a small collage. It wasn't until later that night when she woke up and saw the collage on my desk did everything become clear. She froze for a few moments before turning away, hurt and confused. We talked about it afterward but...I couldn't bring myself to explain why I needed that connection so badly. It's a secret I've kept since then, wondering if there will ever be an honest way to share it with her.