The Secret of My Nights

I'm in my late 30s now, and only recently have I admitted to myself that I slip into this little space during the most intimate moments. It's been a lonely secret for far too long. There are nights when everything about adulting feels too heavy, my job at the hospital is demanding, emotionally draining, and then there are those rare instances where it all melts away. When my partner touches me in certain ways, I regress entirely to this place of innocence and purity, free from responsibility or self-doubt. It’s a vivid headspace that starts as a tingle down my spine and quickly blossoms into something much more. My mind wanders back to those early years when life felt simpler; the way I would curl up with a stuffed animal, feeling safe in its warmth, mirrors how I feel now, completely at ease. Physically, it’s like every inch of skin is hyper-sensitive, amplifying each touch to dizzying heights. It's not just an escape but an essential part of my connection with him, something we’ve never spoken about openly, but it happens nonetheless.