A Secret Admitting Itself

I've been struggling with this for a while now and only recently figured out what it is. I keep telling myself that it's just a phase, but deep down, I know it isn't. The other night, while browsing through some kink sites in secret, I stumbled upon something called DDLG. At first, I thought 'no way,' but then... the idea of being treated like a little one again, by someone who understands and respects me as an adult, started to feel so right it hurt. The shame is overwhelming, what if others find out? What if I actually try this with someone and they laugh at me? It's confusing and scary, and yet, it feels so... freeing.