Caught Myself Whispering Dirty Secrets To My Desk Mate

I really don't know how this started. I'm in my first year of law school and things are already so intense, lots of reading, a lot of stress, constant competition and peer pressure to be top of the class. In one of my classes there's this guy, David, who always sits next to me during lectures. We've never really spoken outside of obligatory 'good morning' exchanges, but we've kind of built up an unspoken understanding that sitting beside each other is convenient for both of us. It all started innocently enough, I would catch myself subtly glancing at him throughout the day, studying his features when he wasn't looking. Then one afternoon, while we were in a quiet session and the class was reviewing contract law, I found myself whispering my own dirty thoughts to David as if he could somehow hear me. At first it felt like just breathing out loud, a way to relieve some tension during our intense classes. But then I began finding reasons to sit closer, to make excuses to touch his arm briefly when we'd pass each other in the hallway or grab books from shelves together. We never talked about it directly, this weird unspoken thing between us that felt like more than just a study buddy friendship but not quite something romantic either. Then one day I couldn't take it anymore. Our class was finishing early and everyone was getting up to leave, except David who seemed lost in thought while packing his bag. Without thinking, I leaned over and whispered into his ear, 'David... I have these thoughts about you all the time. You're so close but... I don't know what to do.' And then I felt stupid for blurting it out like that. He looked at me strangely before gathering up his things and leaving without a word. Now we barely speak, except to exchange awkward glances in class. But every day as I sit there trying to concentrate on legal theories, my mind drifts back to the confession I made, the one that feels like it could change everything if only he understood what I meant.