Just Figuring It Out

I'm new to all of this and I'm feeling a bit lost. Lately, I've found myself drawn to the idea of being in charge and guiding someone else, but also enjoying when they take control. It's strange because I always thought I was more comfortable leading the way. But then there are times when I just want to be taken care of, like I'm a kid again. It feels odd but surprisingly freeing. I've read some stories about DDLG and found myself nodding along with them. Could this be normal for someone my age? Am I overthinking it? What should I do next?