Confused About This New Thing

I recently got divorced and found myself taking up a new form of DDLG with someone who doesn't use titles like 'Daddy' or 'Mommy.' It's strange because I've always prided myself on being independent, yet here I am feeling this odd sense of security in letting go. We started just talking about the dynamics over coffee and then things escalated to playful discipline at home. I don't quite understand why it turns me on, maybe it's the authority or maybe it's the care? It's all so confusing because one minute I feel empowered, and the next, vulnerable. But there’s something comforting in that vulnerability too.