A Secret That Haunts Me

I've been married for nearly ten years now, and I love my wife deeply. But there's this dark secret that's been gnawing at me since before we got together. Even though it was just a one-time thing back when I was in my late twenties, every time I think about it, I feel like a fraud. We were on vacation at a cabin and there was a room service menu left out with an ad for an adult playroom down the street. Curiosity got the better of me and before I knew it, I had called them up to book something rather... kinky. When I arrived, I didn't even know what exactly I wanted until they walked in dressed as some kind of authoritative nurse character. Suddenly, I found myself completely submissive for the first time ever, allowing her to take control. It was incredibly freeing and exciting at the moment, but afterwards, it left me questioning my identity. That night changed something inside me that I've never been able to fully shake off, even now.