Just A Caregiver

I guess I'm just another middle-aged man trying to find some sort of connection in life. Teaching university isn't what it used to be, the students don't seem to care much about learning these days, and the administration is more focused on profit margins than intellectual growth. But there's this young woman... she's in her twenties, I think, and we've started a thing that feels both deeply intimate and strangely detached all at once. It's not like she calls me Daddy or anything; we just have an arrangement where she acts younger around me and I take care of her. She wears these cute little dresses and speaks to me as if I'm the authority figure in our lives, though it's clear to both of us that there are no real power dynamics in the traditional sense. Just a mutual desire for comfort and control, I suppose. We meet in hotels or at my place, always somewhere safe, just so it feels more like an escape from reality than anything else. It's funny how you can feel older when you're taking care of someone who is technically younger but seems to have fewer responsibilities. She reminds me of the simpler days before all this adulting nonsense set in, and I find myself wanting to protect her from it, though I know that's an illusion too. It sounds sappy even as I type it out, but there are moments when she looks up at me with those big eyes and says things like 'You're my rock,' or 'Thank you for understanding me.' Those words make me feel something profound, despite the fact that we both understand it's all just a bit of roleplay. Maybe it's because I'm starting to see her as more than just an object of desire; she's someone who helps me pretend life is okay even when it feels like everything is falling apart.