Feeling Lost in the Little Space

I'm a college student and I've been exploring my interest in DDLG dynamics. Sometimes I feel like being taken care of, feeling safe under another's watchful eye, but other times I crave that role myself, protecting someone who lets me guide them. It's complicated because I'm not sure which side feels more right or true to who I am. Recently, after a particularly intense session where emotions ran high, I've been second-guessing everything. Is it normal for my feelings about this dynamic to be so fluctuating? Am I doing something wrong by wanting both sides of the care and responsibility coin? Your thoughts would mean a lot.