My Hidden Secret Unleashed

It all started last month when I was babysitting my niece and suddenly found myself spanking her bottom for being naughty. It felt wrong at first, but as the weeks went on, I realized it wasn't just about disciplining a child, I wanted to be that person in charge, that adult who could make things right with an authoritative touch. The sensation of her soft skin against my palm was electrifying, and after she left, I found myself sneaking into her room to feel the same thrill on a stuffed animal’s back. It's embarrassing now, but I've never felt so alive, so connected in such a primal way. But tonight, something snapped, I couldn't resist the urge any longer and spanked my own bottom, imagining myself as that child once more. Was this normal? Did others experience these intense urges too? Should I seek therapy or explore it further?