feeling it out

so yeah i’ve been feeling really conflicted lately cuz like a few months back i started playing around with this dynamic where my partner and i kinda switch up, you know? one week they take care of me and then the next week i take care of them. it’s fun but complicated lol. anyways we’ve done some roleplaying stuff that felt really good but kinda hard to explain, ya know? like when they’re acting like a big sis or mom taking care of lil ol’ me, there’s just this connection and intimacy i haven’t felt in forever. on the flip side, being the one who takes care of them brings out parts of me i didn’t even know existed, nurturing and protective instincts and all that. but here’s the thing: we had an argument last week cuz they said something like it was only fun for one of us (them), which is not true at all but got my head spinning. now we’re both on eggshells about bringing up this stuff again. i dunno, maybe i’m just overthinking everything. anyways, figured i’d share this cuz it’s been kinda eating me alive and writing about it helps sometimes.