Tangled Up in Care and Love

So I've been through a pretty rough divorce lately. My ex was always the controlling one, not so much emotionally abusive or anything dark like that, but it was clear who wore the pants (no pun intended) in our relationship for way too long. It's all over now though, and I'm starting to find my footing again as an independent person. The thing is, when you're someone's full-time caregiver, even if it's your spouse, not a parent-child dynamic or anything like that, there's this lingering feeling of responsibility. Like the world expects me to always be in 'caregiver mode,' which sucks because I'm also trying to explore my own desires and interests now without worrying about others so much. Recently, after we split up officially, I found myself hitting a wall when it came to letting go of that role fully. It's tough, you know? There’s this part of me still yearning for some form of guidance or...protection from someone, but not in the way my ex used to try and control me. It sounds messed up, right? But I just need to process all these feelings. So, there was this guy at a meet-up I went to. We connected on something totally unrelated, but he kind of saw through my wall, or maybe I let him in more than usual because the timing felt...right. We started talking about DDLG dynamics and age play stuff as adults choosing it for fun role-play. It was different from what I expected, no power plays or control freak nonsense; just a way to dive into care and comfort without baggage. We decided to try some light age play one night, with me assuming more of a