A Secret I Can't Share with Anyone Else

I've been keeping a secret that's eating away at me. My partner and I started an adult roleplay recently, something very out of the ordinary for us both. It felt strange to even bring it up in conversation as we're usually more traditional, but there was this desire building inside me, something that had always intrigued me from afar but never dared to touch upon. We agreed on a specific framework and dove into it fully committed. However, now I'm torn between feeling exhilarated by the experience and being deeply ashamed of my own desires. Is it normal for someone in their early thirties like myself to crave this kind of roleplay? How do others handle such intense feelings without isolating themselves from reality? I need advice on how to balance these conflicting emotions.