professor's secret outlet

ok so im like 46 and just started going down this road, u know? i mean really i shoulda seen it coming but when you're married to your work for decades and everyone thinks they know you, there are some surprises. my husband is great, hes an engineer so not into this stuff at all - he likes sports and cars and beer. im a history prof at a small college in the midwest and i always liked the kinkier stuff but never did anything with it. but now? yeah its getting serious. so last month at our summer conference, there was this grad student named emily who was presenting on something boring but had her hair in this perfect ponytail and all these pencil skirts that showed off her legs. i couldnt stop staring. and she has this way of looking at me like shes judging my every thought, which is kinda sexy imma admit. anyway, we exchanged emails cuz shes working on a paper about my field - its for her dissertation so i guess shes asking for advice or feedback or whatever. but over these past weeks it just got more and more twisted between us. she sends me pics in her uniform (she looks like a little girl) and i tell her to wear them while were video chatting, which we do several times a week now. but here's the rub - im married. ive been with my husband for almost 20 years and dont want to mess it up but its hard when this thing is taking over in ways i never thought possible. im still trying to figure out how far to let it go before it gets totally messed up.