Oops... Forgot My Spanking List

dude i totally forgot my spanking list last night when we were supposed to do our usual thing. felt like the world’s biggest idiot after he asked where it was and i had this huge deer-in-headlights moment trying to think of an excuse or something... but nope, just flat out told him i fucked up and forgot it at home. i couldn’t even look at him as he said oh well let’s do this instead which left me in such a weird state all night... was terrified he’d be mad or disappointed but he didn’t seem to care too much, went along with it like always no matter what happens between us. still feels bad about forgetting though, made me feel small and worthless even if that wasn’t his intention at all. not really about the spanking list itself but just how messed up my head can get over such a tiny thing sometimes... does this happen to anyone else too?