Lost Control at College

So, I've been this guy Alex who's always had a bit of control issues. At least that's what my roommate says. He’s seen me snap and go off on people when they don't follow the rules or just annoy me in general. It's pretty exhausting to live like that all the time, trying to keep everything under wraps. I'm not really into DDLG stuff at all but... I guess it was the control issue thing that made me curious about power dynamics. I met a guy named Charlie on campus, who introduced me to this idea of submitting myself to someone else’s rules and being in charge for once. It sounds weird saying it out loud, but honestly, I just wanted someone else to take over my decision-making sometimes so I wouldn’t have to worry about everything. Charlie is into Daddy kink stuff, really strict too. He made me sign a contract, which was his way of making sure we were both on the same page with boundaries and consequences for breaking them. I agreed because at this point in life, I’m just so tired of controlling every little thing. The rules he gave me were simple but hard to follow. For example, no talking unless given permission, or having a bedtime that had nothing to do with how much studying needed to be done. It sounds ridiculous and restrictive, yeah. But the weird part is I actually liked following those rules once they got established. I remember one night we were together and he said it was past my curfew. Even though I knew I could argue with him since it wasn't real (like any of this), I didn’t want to. He gave me a timeout in the corner of his room until I learned my lesson about following his rules. It's embarrassing to admit, but that felt... really good actually. Being punished like that made me feel small and insignificant, which was exactly what I needed at the time. There's this sense of freedom when you give up control like this. The constant need to be in charge vanishes with someone else managing it for you. It’s still very new to me though, figuring out how much of it is okay with my sanity and identity. All I know is that these sessions leave me feeling more relaxed than I have been in years. I’m not sure what the future holds between Charlie and me, but right now it's nice to not worry about controlling everything around me. That’s all there really is to say, just a confession of how weirdly liberating letting go can be.