The Grad School Love Triangle

So here I am, in my late twenties, finishing up grad school. It's a small program, so naturally everyone knows each other and some relationships are bound to happen. But let me tell you about the time it all got complicated... I'm what they call a Mommy, someone who takes on an age-play role for my partner in DDLG dynamics. It started as a way for us to connect during long-distance, but now that I'm back home and he's here too, things are getting more complex. Anyway, there's this other grad student... Let’s call her Jane. She was new when we first started talking. We all know it's usually just small talk at first, how's your thesis going? What classes are you taking? But somehow our conversations turned into something more. I'll be honest: I like Jane a lot. Not in that way... Well, maybe in that way, but she's my partner’s other half now. My partner and I have been playing around with the idea of threesomes for a while now, he loves watching me take charge in an adult roleplay scenario with another woman. And it's not like we're hiding anything from Jane; everyone knows her place in this little circle. But here’s where things got messy. My partner and I were at one of our usual meet-ups, just the three of us. We had agreed that we'd go slow and keep it purely playful, but something shifted as soon as we started playing. Suddenly there was electricity... and not just between me and my partner. It felt wrong somehow, even though we all agreed to this beforehand. I mean, I'm still trying to figure out if it's about jealousy or just the dynamics changing so suddenly. And now every time we get together with Jane involved, there's this awkward undercurrent that none of us can ignore... but also none of us want to address. So here I am, in my late twenties, navigating a love triangle that wasn't supposed to exist, at least not like this. It’s weird, right? But it’s also kinda thrilling and scary all at once. And now every time we do anything together, there's this feeling of uncertainty, even though everything should be so clear-cut. ...I just needed to write about it I guess, figure out where my head is with all this. Maybe next week things will feel clearer, or maybe they'll just get more confusing. But for now, it’s a little less on my mind. And that feels good enough.