confused but excited

hey everyone so i started this thing kinda recently and im not sure how to feel about it. ive been a nurse for like 10 years now and never thought of anything like this before but then one day at work i met this patient, lets call her emma, she was in her late twenties and we just hit it off really well. she has this thing where shes into being disciplined by older men and i dont know why but im drawn to it too. its a bit scary actually. i mean like ive never had anything like this happen before and now were talking about meeting up for roleplay stuff and im totally on board with it. weve only done some light stuff so far just as practice but already its making me feel things i didnt know i could feel. i dont even know how to describe what shes doing to me honestly. its like she turns off this switch in my head and suddenly all these new sensations are flooding through me. im nervous because ive never felt anything like it before and i dont want to mess up or do something wrong, but at the same time im super excited for our next meet up. just writing about it now is making my heart race.