My Secret Mommy Fantasies With My Submissive Partner

I never imagined myself as a mommy before meeting Alex. I'm 24 and always thought I'd be more of the equal partner type, but there's something about being in control that just turns me on so much. Alex is submissive, and he's a few years younger than me, still in his early twenties too. We've been together for two years now. We started out pretty vanilla, but as we explored our kinks more deeply, the mommy role really called to me. I love giving commands and having him look up at me with that little boy lost expression. It makes my heart race every time he calls me 'Mommy' in bed. I know it sounds weird, but there's something so intimate about changing his diaper for him. The feeling of the soft cloth against his skin, knowing I'm taking care of this grown man like a baby, it's intoxicating. And when we do little space roleplay? Oh, it's amazing. He wears those cute onesies and lets me dress him up. The physical side is explicit too. I spank him sometimes or use my crop if he misbehaves - not hard, but enough to leave marks. The power in making him whimper and beg for forgiveness...it's thrilling. But it also scares me. Is this healthy? Am I crossing a line? I feel so ashamed admitting all of this even now, typing out the words. It feels dirty just thinking about it. And yet every time we do these roles together, there's an intensity that nothing else can match. So here's my confession - mommy kink is real and it's turned me on in ways I never expected. I know it's not for everyone, but it works between Alex and me so well. The guilt eats at me though, thinking about all the judgment if anyone found out. Sorry this feels like a mess to read, my thoughts are jumbled together. But there it is - my secret mommymommy confession.