Conflicted Desire...

I've always been non-binary, identifying somewhere between male and female. I recently started exploring a new dynamic with my partner, Alex, where I take on the role of a little for them. It’s strange because before this, I’ve never thought about having a dominant or submissive relationship at all. I mean... it's not that I haven't fantasized about being cared for in some way, but nothing like what we're doing now. We started small, with just calling each other by different names - me as 'Lil' and Alex as 'Daddy'. It felt really safe to do something this out of character at first. But then... things progressed quickly. We bought a few outfits for me to wear that were more feminine or childish looking, and the idea was that I'd wear them when we're together in private. I love feeling like a little... it's hard to explain why. It makes me feel so protected and cared for. Alex is really good at it too - they have this way of talking to me where everything feels okay and safe. But here’s the thing that worries me... every time we get into 'role' there’s this part of my mind that wants to run back and hide. Like, I’m scared because it feels so foreign and I don’t understand why I want both those things at once - the warmth and the fear. I’ve been wondering if this is something normal people experience too? Or am I just doing everything wrong here... Is there a way to be okay with feeling like a little, but still have that protective edge as well? Does it make me a bad person for liking this side of me? ...