caregiving gets me

i dont know why but taking care of someone like this really turns me on. it started kinda small, helping a friend out with some late night stuff when they were down and i was up already at work. then i just got into it more. now im in this thing where its all about serving them totally, doing whatever they ask or need, even if that means getting dressed up in cute outfits for them to be their personal care taker. like one time we went through this whole day together and i was their nurse for the day, making sure every little thing was perfect, from their food to how comfy the bed felt. its just something about being needed so much that makes me feel alive. im still trying to figure out why exactly, but it's crazy cause i can be so into it sometimes. all the asking and giving in this role play is intense, like a mix of pleasure and duty. i kinda need to talk about it because it feels so personal and important.