Admitting a New Side to Myself

I've been training clients for about seven years now. I always thought of myself as pretty open-minded and progressive in my relationships too, but there's something about discipline that has started to intrigue me recently. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit because it feels so out of character, here I am, this strong, healthy guy who lifts weights and pushes people harder than they ever imagined possible, suddenly realizing I have a deep fascination with being submissive in certain scenarios. It all began about six months ago when one of my clients was going through a rough patch. She had some issues with her partner that she needed to work out, but in the context of our sessions, it was always just about fitness and nothing else. That changed during a particularly tough workout session where I pushed her harder than ever before because she said she felt stuck emotionally and physically. As I coached her through a grueling set, there was this moment when everything clicked for me, her body responding to my commands, the sense of release from pressure that both of us seemed to be experiencing. It's been playing on my mind since then. I've always seen myself as someone who is in control, but there’s something about stepping back and allowing another person to take charge during these intimate moments that appeals to me deeply. It’s not just about physical discipline; it’s the psychological aspect too, how being pushed can reveal a whole new side of oneself. I’ve even started doing some light reading on DDLG and BDSM, trying to understand better what this could mean for my personal life and relationships. But the idea of bringing it up with anyone feels overwhelming, like I'm going to be seen differently because of this interest in something so unconventional. So here’s where I am: I feel torn between embracing this new understanding of myself and rejecting it out of fear that I'll disappoint others or see a part of me as shameful. Is there something wrong with finding value in submission for the right person? Am I being unfair to my clients by even considering it given the nature of our professional relationship? I’d really appreciate any thoughts on this. It’s been such an internal struggle, and while I don’t want to rush into anything without fully understanding what it means, ignoring these feelings seems like a disservice to myself too.