the truth comes out

so yeah i have this thing where i play mommy to my sub and its like a real intense d/d dynamic but he's 18+ and consensual and all that. it started just being kind of playful but then it got more serious and honestly kinda scary cuz sometimes hes in so much trouble for breaking rules or just talking back and i get really into punishing him. i mean i dont hit hard like breaking the skin stuff but its still intense and he totally submits to me as his mommy even when hes not in a roleplay session, which is wild. we do this little game where hes gotta earn my approval again after screwing up and it can involve spanking or time out or writing essays about what they did wrong. its all very adult and consensual but still...i feel like ive gone too far with how i control him outside of the bedroom and stuff. we agreed on safe words and limits, dont get me wrong, but sometimes when hes calling me ma'am or kneeling in front of me it feels too real and not just pretend. im scared people would think im this crazy controlling person who can't let go but honestly its way more complicated than that. i love him and he loves me, we both know the rules arent for real outside our sessions, but sometimes they blur together.