In the Clinic Closet

I'll admit it, I never imagined a closet in my clinic's exam room would be such an enticing place. It was during a particularly busy day; patients were waiting, and my mind wandered to things that shouldn't. As I grabbed supplies from there for what felt like the thousandth time, something about the cramped space, the smell of antiseptic mixed with dust, it just got me going in ways I didn’t expect. To my horror, my hands started shaking as I reached for a box, nearly spilling everything. My heart raced, and then I found myself leaning against the cool metal door, breaths coming faster than they should have been. The moment felt surreal, like time had slowed down just for this private thrill. I remember looking at my watch, wondering if anyone would hear me over the hum of the clinic's HVAC system, but there was a strange peace knowing no one could see what I wanted to hide from myself. Afterward, when the day ended and reality set back in, I couldn’t help but wonder: is this normal? Is it just stress or something deeper trying to tell me something? What do you all think?