feeling lost in class but turned on at home

i started dating this older guy last month and it's been amazing. we do all sorts of kink stuff, bondage mostly. he really likes to be dominant and tie me up when i'm naked. it feels so good and makes my mind go blank for a bit. but then im back here in class, stressed out over law stuff, feeling like such a mess compared to us having sex. tonight after his place he just stared at me like im some little kid he needs to take care of, which was kinda hot but also made me feel small and worthless. i know it's not real and we both agreed no emotional nonsense, but still. i think that's why i'm posting this - to tell someone this feels messed up in my head even though its just pretend.