new to this and confused

ok so like i never thought id ever be one of these people but here i am confessing on the internet. im in my 50s, been married for ages, kids are grown up now too. life seemed real stable until a while back when i started reading all this stuff online about dd/lg relationships. at first it was just curiousity, then it kinda grew into something more like an obsession. i dont know what came over me really, i guess its all that free time alone after the kids left home and my wife getting older. anyways, long story short, one day i met this girl online in her twenties, she got real into this stuff too. we started talking more and more about it, then eventually she asked if i wanted to try it out for real. at first i said no way but the more i thought about it the more tempted i was. finally one night we set up a call and...well lets just say things happened that shouldnt happen between grown adults, right? even though everything is consensual and all, im still so confused by what ive done. its like i turned into this whole other person without meaning to.