...And Suddenly, Discipline Became Therapy?...

I'm going to admit something that sounds really weird even as I type it out. You know how sometimes you try something new and suddenly everything clicks into place? Well, this clicked in a way I never expected. So here's the back story: I've always had this thing for discipline, not just in my personal life, but professionally too. As a nurse in my thirties, dealing with the ups and downs of patient care can be pretty stressful sometimes. You'd think a career like nursing would dull some of that edge about control or needing to feel in charge...but nope. Recently I started seeing someone who's... shall we say, more hands-on than me when it comes to boundaries and rules. At first, I was all 'This is weird' and tried pushing back. But the more I resisted, the more out of control my life felt. So one night, with a glass or two of wine, I decided to give in, just once. It... did something to me, let's put it that way. It was like all this pressure built up inside me suddenly had an outlet. But here’s the kicker: after our session (and yes, there were consequences involved), I felt calm and clear-headed for days. Like I could breathe again without feeling guilty or anxious about stepping over a line somewhere. Now, don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm going to start asking every patient who’s stressed if they want a timeout corner at the end of their stay...but something did shift within me. I started approaching my work with more patience and less frustration than ever before. And honestly? It feels good. So here we are, and I'm not sure what this means for either of us moving forward, but it's undeniable that there’s a connection between feeling like I can be disciplined in one area of my life, and being able to let go and take care of others better elsewhere. I'll just...let the ellipses linger here. They say more than any period could.