...Am I the Asshole?...

I've been in nursing for over ten years now. Recently, I started exploring DDLG with a submissive partner who is in her twenties, let's call her 'Lily'. We both really enjoy it and she loves to be disciplined like a little girl, which I kind of... well, find hot too? She always refers to me as her Daddy even though we're not biologically related. It's funny because I was never the type for this sort of thing growing up or even in my early thirties before meeting Lily. Lily comes to me with a lot of baggage from her past, which I try to help her work through using our dynamic as an emotional and physical safe space... But lately, something's been bothering me. When she does something 'naughty' and needs punishment, like being forced to do chores or getting spanked on the thighs... it’s not just about disciplining her, though that’s a part of it. There are moments where I feel this strange sense of control over her. It's exhilarating but also frightening at times. Lily always comes to me with a look in her eyes asking for more discipline, and she gets excited when I dole out the punishment as if it's what she needs... I'm not sure if that’s because it makes her feel better or worse somehow. She says it helps her cope but sometimes I wonder if I’m taking this too far. The most recent time we were playing, Lily was so naughty she didn't clean up after herself all week, leaving clothes and dishes everywhere. When I finally spanked her, not hard, just enough to make a point, she got on the floor and started cleaning like a little girl would... She was crying but also smiling through it. I'm really trying to understand where this all comes from in myself. The discipline aspect feels right, but sometimes I fear I’m overstepping into something unhealthy or crossing some kind of line. Does anyone here have experience with DDLG and can offer some advice? Am I the asshole for not understanding my own motivations fully? ...