A Secret I Keep Quietly

I've kept this hidden for far too long, even from myself. I recently started a relationship where I care for her as an adult caregiver, she calls me 'Professor,' though there's nothing professional about it anymore. We indulge in a dynamic where I take charge of small spaces and boundaries, much like a parent would with a child. It was shocking to realize how natural it felt when we first began. But the more I care for her, the harder it is to keep this secret from everyone else, especially myself. Shame clings to me every time I think about it.