A Secret Unspoken Until Now

I never thought I would be confessing something like this. It’s only recently that I’ve come to terms with a hidden aspect of myself, one that has stayed buried beneath layers of denial and embarrassment. Lately, I've been exploring the dynamics of dominance and submission, finding comfort in being disciplined by someone who sees me as more than just an adult struggling through life's challenges. It started out as playful role-play over video calls during my grad school dropout period when everything felt uncertain. To be honest, it’s hard to admit how much I crave that feeling of being put back into a place where I’m expected to follow orders without question. The thought of it is thrilling and terrifying at the same time. It's not something I’ve ever shared with anyone else or acted on outside my imagination. I don’t know what this means for me, but for now, just knowing that there are others out there who feel similar things offers a small sense of relief.