barely holding it together tonight

i feel like shit lately at work u know bartender thing can get real hard sometimes especially when ur in this weird headspace of switching between littles and caregivers i dunno if people understand the struggle its not just play its a way to cope with grownup stuff sometimes but also it means i have these totally conflicting sides of me that fight each other like literally last night i was taking care of someone else but also feeling super small and needy and oh my god why do we make things so complicated for ourselves right yeah so its all over the place tonight and im just trying to keep it together till closing