..An Incident Behind the Bar...

I’ve always been attracted to kink and BDSM. The idea of submitting to someone has really turned me on for a long time. I never thought it would come up at work though, especially not with one of my regulars... But it did. This guy, let’s call him Dave, he comes into the bar every Tuesday night without fail. He's in his late thirties and usually orders whiskey neat. We always chat a bit; nothing deep really, just friendly banter over our drinks. A few weeks ago though, something changed... There was this undercurrent of tension between us that I could feel, even before he arrived. One night, after the bar closed, Dave stayed behind to finish his drink and ended up getting pretty tipsy. We were joking around about various kinks when suddenly it just kind of happened. He made a comment that hinted at a fantasy involving some control play... It felt so wrong, but also incredibly right... Before I knew it, we were in the back room, and things got very intense. To be honest, I had been daydreaming about this for weeks, submitting to someone who could give me orders and push my limits. The thought was exciting but scary too. Dave didn’t exactly force anything on me... I wanted it. There’s no doubt in my mind that everything we did was consensual. Still, the shame of it... It feels like cheating even though nothing about our lives together changed. Now every Tuesday night is a reminder, and it makes me feel awful. How could I be so reckless with someone who trusts me at work? And yet there’s this strange part of me that can’t help but look forward to those Tuesdays again... It’s such a contradiction, and the guilt is crushing. I keep telling myself it was just one night, an intense moment, but every time Dave walks in, my heart races... Now I’m stuck in this weird situation where I have to pretend nothing happened. I know I need to tell him everything so we can both move on, but the thought of that terrifies me too...