Nurse's Secret Little Space Confession

I've been a nurse for over ten years now. You wouldn't think it from looking at me, but I love getting down on my knees and obeying orders in every sense of the word. It started when I met Mr. Thompson during a training session. He was one of those experienced nurses who could command respect just by walking into a room, and there's something about him that made me want to follow his lead, not just professionally but personally too. I guess it all came to a head last week. We were on duty together and Mr. Thompson had to leave for an urgent meeting with the hospital administration. He left me in charge of the floor, which was strange because he's usually so hands-on and controlling. I felt lost without his direction. As soon as he walked out, I found myself standing there, unsure what to do next. It was like my legs turned to jelly or something. So silly! Anyway, while pacing around the ward, I noticed a stack of patient charts that weren't organized properly. Normally, I would've tidied them up right away without hesitation, but instead, I froze. That's when it hit me, Mr. Thompson had put such an imprint on my daily routine that even small tasks felt daunting in his absence. Then there was this weird urge to run after him and ask if he needed help or if there were specific instructions for the day. Instead, I kept walking back towards the nursing station like a zombie, staring at all those charts until finally, I just had to do something about them myself. So here's my question: is it normal for me to feel so lost and dependent on someone’s guidance? And what should I do if this keeps happening in other areas of life too? Do you think there could be a way to explore more of this with Mr. Thompson that doesn't interfere with our professional relationship? Sorry, rambling as usual. But hope it helps anyone out there who might feel like they need that kind of guidance sometimes.