Understanding Myself Better

I’ve been struggling with something that’s been eating at me for months now. I’m in my twenties and just recently acknowledged to myself that there might be a kink I haven’t fully explored or accepted yet. It started when I was dating this woman, we’ll call her Jane, who was interested in some light BDSM play. Nothing hardcore; she was okay with blindfolds, some light spanking, maybe being tied up for short periods of time. The thing is, while Jane enjoyed it and I liked watching and being part of those sessions (she’d sometimes tie me up too), there was this feeling gnawing at the back of my mind. It felt like something more, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. I kept pushing it away because I’ve always thought of myself as a vanilla guy, someone who prefers simple and straightforward relationships. Recently, we had an argument about her wanting to try harder BDSM stuff. She mentioned some activities that involved a lot more control and power dynamics. That’s when the feeling came back stronger than ever before. It wasn’t just about her wanting to play; it was as if I wanted something similar for myself but couldn’t understand why. This led me down a rabbit hole of research, reading blogs, watching videos, anything that could help me figure out what I might be suppressing or ignoring. The more I read, the more I realized there’s this thing called DDLG (Daddy Dom/ little girl dynamic) that resonates with something inside me. It’s not about actual age gaps or pretending to be younger. It's more about a desire for guidance and protection, for feeling safe under someone else’s control. But it’s also confusing because I’ve never been this kind of person before. Am I delusional? Is it okay to explore something so different from what I’ve always thought I was? I know there are many others out there who might have had similar experiences, and that's why I’m turning here for advice. Do you think my confusion is normal? Is it okay to explore this side of me if I’ve never considered it before? Sometimes I feel like I’ve just unlocked a whole new world in understanding myself better, but at the same time, it’s scary to admit to myself and potentially others. So, what would you do in my shoes? How did you handle realizing something about yourself that went against your preconceived notions?