...When He Told Me to Go Home...

I don't know why I keep coming back here. It's like a stupid habit or something. We haven't talked about this stuff in ages, but today he brought it up again, and I just fell into the old pattern. And when he told me to go home... I mean, I'm not even sure if he meant that literally or if it was some kind of metaphor for us ending it all over again. The way his eyes looked at me though... there was this sadness in them. Like maybe we both know it's never really going away, no matter how much time passes. I should probably just cut things off and move on but the sex is amazing, right? I mean, it's been years since either of us thought about anything other than that. And yeah, sometimes it feels a bit one-sided with me getting into some weird submissive headspace while he takes charge... But maybe that's why we keep finding our way back here, there’s still something left to explore between us. Sometimes I wonder if all this stuff would even matter without the sex, but then again, what else is there? He's my professor now, and everyone around us knows it. So yeah, another weird dynamic that got tacked onto an already messed up situation... It’s funny how we always end up finding ways to complicate things for no reason. I guess I’ll keep coming back until one of us decides it’s time to really move on though. Until then, here we are, still dancing around all the messiness of what we have. And even if none of this makes sense, at least we’re not alone in figuring it out together...