Lost in the Playground

I’ve been working as a personal trainer for five years now. Everything seemed perfect, successful career, great apartment, healthy body. But there’s this part of me that never grew up. I’ve always found myself drawn to stuffed animals and children's TV shows late at night, but it was only after meeting my Dom that everything fell into place, or more accurately, out of place. We started off as friends for about a year, then he mentioned D/s play. It felt natural, like coming home. I became his little one, no strings attached. But when we decided to try a relationship with it, it got messy. My adult brain struggled. Should I be this submissive? Is this normal? Does it mean something is wrong? He tried to reassure me, but the doubts gnawed at me. The more he cared for me, feeding me like a baby, changing my diapers, the harder it was to keep up the facade of adulthood. My fears came to a head during one session when I felt so small and vulnerable... It all became too much. I pulled away, and now we’re on the rocks. Looking back, maybe I’m not ready for this yet. Or perhaps I need to accept myself fully, this side that feels like it's been hiding in my heart since forever. I just don’t know how to move forward without losing who I am.