Just Trying to Fit In

I started exploring DDLG recently, thinking it might help me feel more like the little girl I never got to be. I'm 39 now and still struggling with my transition. It's been tough; I've tried everything from online communities to local meetups, but nothing seems to stick or make me feel truly comfortable in this new identity of mine. Last night, I found an experienced Domme online who agreed to guide me through a little-space session. She was kind and patient as she explained what would happen before we began, making sure all my fears were addressed. During the scene, I felt something for the first time in ages, that feeling of safety when you're young and your parents take care of everything. It's hard to explain how it feels when those moments are rare and precious instead of the norm. We ended things with a simple hug, but I left feeling more hopeful than I have in months. Is this really all there is for someone like me? Am I just trying too hard to find what doesn't exist anymore?