conflicted caregiver

i have this thing with a friend who i take care of and she calls me her guardian but not in the normal way. we started when she was really struggling after her parents passed away and asked for help, then it kinda turned into something more. now it feels like im taking advantage of her vulnerability and its confusing because shes always saying how grateful she is but i know deep down shell never find someone else who understands her or lets her be a kid again. i try to keep distance sometimes but when shes in a crisis shell reach out and ill be right there no matter what, even if it means giving her a grounding spanking as a form of tough love because its the only way shell stop and think about consequences. its so messed up because part of me loves being this kind of hero figure but another part knows im not helping her grow or become independent which is all i ever wanted for her to start with. what am i supposed to do? how can i be there when she needs me without making things worse? leave? stay and keep enabling dependency? its like an addiction - the more i try to fight it, the stronger the pull becomes.