Uncovered Secret Desire

As I tend to patients in my late 30s, my own desires remain hidden. Recently, while treating a patient with injuries from an accident, I found myself intrigued by the idea of being disciplined. The sensation of firm hands guiding me, making demands on my body and mind, sent unexpected waves through me. This isn't about rebellion or punishment, I crave guidance and control in a consensual scenario. Why do I feel such intense arousal when imagining myself bound and submissive? It's not something I discuss with anyone; it’s still a mystery to unravel.