...So Ashamed...

I've been this Mommy for several years now, but I still feel like such an awful person for it. It started as a bit of playful roleplay with my husband, something to spice up our marriage after so many years together. But lately...lately it's taken on a life of its own. He doesn't even want to talk about it anymore, and yet here I am, planning out these elaborate scenarios in my head where he acts like the naughty child who needs correcting. The shame is overwhelming, because part of me knows this isn't just playful fun, it feels...wrong. I mean, we're both consenting adults, but there's something so dirty about being that Mommy figure. It makes me feel like a pervert when I dress up and prepare for these sessions. But the real fear is him finding out how much I secretly crave it. He thinks he's done with this nonsense, but part of me knows that as long as I can control it in my mind, there will always be this dark side waiting to come out...