A Secret Night of Play

I've been keeping this secret from everyone for months now. Last week, I decided to finally explore my little side with an experienced caregiver. We met in a quiet park at midnight, under the cover of darkness and anonymity. He wore a suit, strict and imposing, while I dressed as if still a child, pajamas and bunny slippers. It was exhilarating yet terrifying; his authority over me felt overwhelming but also liberating. When he gently punished me for 'misbehaving' by taking away my favorite toy, it sent shivers down my spine in ways I never expected. Am I broken or just discovering a deep, hidden desire? What do you all think about this kind of play?