I Broke The Rules Again

Today was rough. I felt so small and guilty after disobeying him like that. He told me to clean my room before dinner, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. There were too many distractions, too much stress from classes. So I lied and said I had done it. But now the guilt is eating away at me. When he catches me, which he will, I know there's going to be a harsh punishment for my dishonesty. It’s hard being in this headspace sometimes, having someone else set all these rules and boundaries. Yet part of me craves that accountability too.