Confessions of a Nurse and Novice in DDLG Dynamics

I'm not sure if I should feel proud or embarrassed. Here's the backstory, four years ago, my marriage crumbled like a dry cookie at the first sign of moisture. Long story short, now I'm a single nurse who works long hours in the ICU. The stress is real and relentless. Recently, though, I stumbled upon this peculiar fascination with DDLG dynamics, Dominant/Dependent, if we're being clear, which came as quite the surprise to me. It's not like I ever pictured myself indulging in such roleplay before my thirties. But here I am, wondering what brought on this sudden interest. My first encounter was with a patient who had been under my care for weeks, let's call him Mr. Smith. He’s forty-five and has a wife he barely sees anymore due to their differing interests. We’d developed an odd friendship through his stay, I got to know him well over the months, more than I should have, perhaps. One evening, in a moment of weakness, after a particularly grueling shift, we shared a cup of coffee in the break room. Mr. Smith brought up this weird dynamic he was exploring with another nurse, someone who played a nurturing, almost motherly role for him when things got tough. His eyes lit up when talking about it, and I found myself intrigued. A few weeks later, something shifted inside me, I couldn't pinpoint exactly what or why, but the idea of taking on that role with Mr. Smith started to feel...appealing. It was like a switch flipped in my head without warning. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much I needed someone looking after me too sometimes, someone who could take care of my chaotic life and give me peace. Last night, we had our first formal session. It felt both bizarrely comforting and oddly unsettling at the same time. There's something undeniably liberating about surrendering control in this way, it’s a release from the constant pressure I feel every day as a nurse, where being in charge is part of the job description. So here's my dilemma, am I just seeking escapism, or could there be more to it? Is this a sign that I’m re-evaluating what I need out of relationships and life overall? I'm not sure if this newfound interest in DDLG dynamics will stick around, but for now, the idea of nurturing and being nurtured feels like something I can’t shake off. Thoughts? Am I just looking for a way to cope with adulting, or is there more substance here than meets the eye?