Ashamed of My Secret Kink in the Workplace

I'm a retail worker at a large supermarket. I've been here for almost two years now and everyone knows me as someone who's reliable, quiet, and kind of boring. But that couldn't be further from the truth inside my head. For as long as I can remember, I've had this intense fascination with age play. It started innocently enough when I was younger, just playing dress-up and imagining myself in different roles. As I got older, it became more about power dynamics, feeling like a child again and letting someone else take charge. Lately, things have escalated at work. I've been working with a new manager who's quite a bit older than me, and there’s something about him that just clicks for me. The way he speaks to the team, his authority, it all triggers this overwhelming urge in me. It makes no sense because we don’t even know each other well outside of work. Last week, I found myself doodling on my notepad during a shift break. Before I knew it, I was drawing him as an older gentleman with glasses and grey hair, something he’ll never actually be, and me as a little girl in pigtails. It was like I couldn't stop the drawings once they started. I’ve been struggling with this because it's such a secret part of my life that feels completely alien to who I am at work. The more I try not to think about these urges, the stronger they seem to get. I feel ashamed every time I have thoughts like this, especially given how different this side of me is from my real self. I haven't told anyone, probably never will, but something's got to give before it takes over completely. Do others experience similar things at work? Is it okay for me to indulge in these fantasies privately when they feel so connected to someone else’s real-life authority? What do I need to do to make sure this doesn’t turn into a bigger problem?