The Caregiver's Dilemma

I've always been a bit of a carefree switch, sometimes finding myself in the role of an attentive caregiver and at others feeling like a little one who needs guidance. It started about six months ago when I began working from home full-time after my job moved to remote-only status due to global circumstances. This sudden change gave me a lot more flexibility but also made it harder for me to stay connected with the outside world. During this time, I met Alex through a local online community. We had many things in common: both of us loved reading classic literature and discussing complex philosophical ideas. Our friendship deepened over time, and eventually, he proposed we try out a relationship that incorporated age-play dynamics. Initially hesitant, the idea grew on me as we explored our shared interests further. Recently, Alex suggested he take on the role of an older figure while I acted as his younger counterpart in a session last week. It was something we had talked about but hadn't fully committed to yet. The night before the session, I felt anxious and excited. What if it didn’t work out? What if I disappointed him? As planned, we began our evening together by reading aloud from one of my favorite childhood books, a decision that made me feel like we were building an emotional bridge back to simpler times but in a very adult context. During the session itself, Alex played the role of a wise mentor who was guiding me through some personal challenges I've been facing recently regarding work-life balance. The experience left me with mixed feelings. On one hand, it felt incredibly validating and nurturing to have someone care for me so deeply in this way. But on the other, I couldn’t shake off the sense that I had lost something, perhaps my independence or autonomy in deciding how we define our relationship going forward. So now, here’s where I need your help: How do I balance my newfound enjoyment of playing a 'little' with maintaining control over when and to what extent I want to engage in such dynamics? Am I being too cautious or is it important for me to establish clear boundaries? Would love any insights from those who have walked this path before.