Why Do I Enjoy Being the Bossy Mommy?

So, here's a confession that has been rolling around in my head for a while now. I'm 29 and I find myself really into playing as a mom to my partner. It started off as just a way to be close and share something playful but it's escalated in a very specific direction - towards being the bossy mommy type. Like, I have no issue with giving commands or enforcing discipline if we're going for that role-play. And yes, there are times when it feels intense and more serious than 'play', which kind of freaks me out. Why am I even like this? I mean, I grew up in a fairly normal family - not overbearing at all, actually quite the opposite. We had rules, sure, but they were pretty loose compared to what you see now in media about strict parenting. So, there's no childhood reason for why I'd suddenly want this power dynamic with my partner. It just sort of happened. Now that I think about it though, maybe part of the appeal is the control and certainty? In a world where so much feels uncertain and out-of-control, having this little corner where I can be the one calling the shots - that’s liberating in a way. It's not just role-play anymore but something deeper, like I'm providing guidance or taking on an authority figure role outside of our usual dynamic. There are times when it gets too serious for me though and that's when my partner and I have to take a step back - to remind ourselves that this is just play. The thing is, even then, the idea of stepping away from 'being the boss' leaves me feeling weird and off-balance. Is it all in my head? Am I really okay with the flip-side too where he takes charge? I don't know why I'm obsessed with it but there's something satisfying about knowing I can be strong, protective, even authoritarian - at least in our little world together. It’s both thrilling and unsettling at the same time.