figuring things out

i recently got divorced and am still trying to wrap my head around everything. while going through this tough time i discovered a new side of myself that feels kinda weird to talk about. its like there's this part of me that likes being disciplined, you know? not in an angry way but more like the kind of guidance when someone really wants the best for you and cares deeply. it sounds strange i guess because usually people want freedom and control. but honestly, it makes me feel safe and loved in a very deep way. its confusing though because on one hand i love this feeling but then there's so much stigma around these things that i'm scared to explore more. not sure where all this is going or if its even healthy for me to pursue but needed to put it out here and maybe find some clarity.