Confessions of an Adult Little in White Scrubs

I'm 34 years old and I work as a nurse at a local hospital. It's been my dream job for as long as I can remember, but lately, there's something else that's taken over me. I've been feeling like a little boy again. Not just in the metaphorical sense of being playful or innocent. No, it's deeper than that. I dress up in my scrubs and even put on some oversized children's clothes beneath them sometimes, onesies with cartoons all over them. It helps me feel safe and protected when I'm at home alone after a long shift. My girlfriend knows about this part of me but doesn't really understand it or participate, which can be isolating. She says she loves the playful side of my character, but little play? That's not for her. We've been together for five years now and I haven't told anyone at work yet, I'm terrified they'd think less of me if they found out. One day, while wearing one of these outfits under my scrubs, I had to treat a young child who was badly hurt after a fall. He looked up at me with the most scared eyes and clung to his mother's leg like he couldn't move another inch. It triggered something inside of me, made me feel more childish than ever before. After that day, it wasn't just about feeling safe or being playful anymore; I wanted to be there for other people in need with a childlike empathy and vulnerability. That kid looked up at me as if I was his savior. Am I the asshole here for wearing these outfits while doing such important work? Do I need to stop immediately, even though it's helping me connect better with my patients?