Feeling Lost in Play...

I'm a trans man in my twenties who's been exploring the world of age-play lately. It started as a way to connect with someone on a deeper, more intimate level, but now it feels like I've strayed far from where I wanted to be... The play helps me feel younger and less burdened by the weight of adulthood sometimes, but there's always this sadness that lingers because part of me wants to just be myself without these props or roles. It's confusing and exhausting trying to reconcile my desires with who I am outside of the scenes. How do others deal with balancing such intense role-play with real-life identity?