Confessions of a Little Professor

I am forty-five and have been a little for over five years now. It started as a game, something to explore with my partner, but it has grown into so much more. I found myself craving that sense of innocence, the simplicity in life that comes from being someone's little one. When I wear my pigtails or my babydoll nightgown, I feel a strange calm, like all the adult stress just fades away. My colleagues have no idea. I go back and forth between being myself - mature, professional - and this playful, giggling little who doesn't know much about grown-up things beyond what I've learned from my roleplay partner. It's funny how playing pretend can feel so real sometimes. One day, after a particularly stressful lecture, I felt the urge to call him and ask for a timeout, just like when you're feeling too overwhelmed as a child would. Sometimes, it feels odd, but mostly, it feels right. Is there something wrong with this? Am I missing out on being an adult by indulging in these fantasies? Or is this simply another way of expressing myself and finding joy amidst the chaos of life? What do you all think? Does anyone else feel this way, or am I just some silly woman who needs to grow up?